I loved every minute of the first Avengers movie. It was
action packed with just enough narrative-driven drama to make it compelling. In
fact, I have enjoyed watching all the Marvel Studios productions since the
first Iron Man film. My brother and I have been collecting and reading comics
and going to movies together for decades now. We have frequently discussed what
makes a comic-based movie or television show successful and why so many have
failed prior to this outstanding run by Marvel Studios. In our minds, there are
Three Keys to a successful translation of superhero comics to the big screen:
1.
It Must
Have the Look – The sets and costumes need to be good translations into
reality but must also be clearly identifiable as the characters from the
comics. (Good – the first Iron Man movie; Bad – the Fantastic Four Galactus or
even Dr. Doom for that matter)
2.
The
Special Effects Must Be Excellent – If the things the characters can do
fail to capture the power and grace of the action within the comics, the
translation will be weak at best. (Good – Again, the first Iron Man movie; Bad –
one web shooter TV Spider-Man)
3.
Do Not
Stray Far From the Source Material – Small deviations are to be expected,
but the further you get from the actual comic-book stories the worse the movie.
(Good – Netflix Daredevil; Bad – Catwoman)
You can certainly find a few pieces that broke one or
more of these rules but were still good movies if not good translations. You can also pick out one or two projects that
followed these rules and were still terrible. However, let us talk about Avengers: Age of Ultron.
I was excited to see the Avengers sequel and bought
tickets more than a week in advance so I could see it on opening night. I even
bought less than premium seats so I would not have to delay my screening any
longer than necessary. When I had a gout flare-up the night before that was
severe enough to make me miss work I barely considered returning my tickets and
seeing the movie another day. I wanted to see this movie and I wanted to love
it. The fact that the sequel shared a title with one of the worst comics I had
ever read was not even a blip in my enthusiasm.
I hated it.
To be brief and non-spoiling, the story was not
compelling. The action sequences utilized that quick-cut, frenetic pace thing
that has become popular in action movies. The same sort of editing used in the
Man of Steel action sequences. I am sure some people enjoy that style or moviemakers
would probably stop doing it. I find it makes following the action nearly
impossible, unless just knowing there was a fight and it was quick and brutal
is enough for you. The character moments that have been a major attraction in
the Marvel Studios Brand, were clunky and ham-fisted into place and did nothing
to advance the story or make the action more compelling.
I don’t plan to ruin the story for anyone (I am not sure
that is even possible) but I am about to
go into specific story elements that you may not want to read if you still plan
to see the film. Maybe you can read the rest next week.
Spoiler Alert
The story begins with the Avengers in one of those frenetic
action sequences I mentioned earlier. Our heroes are murdering and maiming
Hydra Agents by the dozen as they attempt to regain the scepter that Loki used
in the first movie from the evil Baron Strucker. Strucker plans to surrender
himself along with most of his large cache of weapons, so that his secret
project can continue un-noticed by the Avengers. However, apparently the Avengers are too smart
and capture him and all his weapons even those hidden with the scepter in his
secret lair within the secret lair. Thor plans to return the scepter to Asgard for
safekeeping. Despite Thor’s ability to instantaneously travel between
dimensions, he will wait three days so that he can take part in the celebratory
party that Tony Stark is throwing at Avengers Tower.
This gives Tony Stark time to study the specter and
discover that there is a computer program, an artificial intelligence, hiding
inside it. He plans to use it to power-up his own Jarvis A.I. and put Jarvis in
charge of policing the world using the Iron Man robots that Jarvis already successfully
utilizes to help the Avengers fight human Hydra agents with regular guns. Bruce
Banner thinks this is a bad idea but helps him with the integration of this new
A.I. with the old Jarvis A.I. because then he can live in peace without Veronica
(whatever that is) looking over his shoulder. They think it best to keep this a
secret from the other Avengers.
Everything goes wrong and the A.I. escapes into the
internet and takes over factories so it can build its self a giant robot body.
We meet the man who will become Klaw along the way and Ultron (the name Stark
gave the program) steals a bunch of Vibranium and teams up with Quicksilver and
the Scarlet Witch, creations of Baron Strucker. We knew they could not be
mutants because of the X-Men contracts. Quicksilver is essentially the
character from the comics but Joss Whedon mixed up the Scarlet Witch with Jean
Grey. She has the ability to read and control minds and utilize telekinesis. When
the Avengers show up, she puts them into a dream state where they either
remember their past or see a mildly depressing version of it. The Hulk goes
wild. The Avengers, devastated by this loss and the public reaction, go into
hiding on a farm. This is Hawkeye’s farm where his pregnant wife and two kids
are living!
Thor, so bothered by his nearly eventless dream, seeks
out Jane Foster’s father. Doctor Foster helps Thor find a mystical dream pool
so he can electrocute himself in it and re-live this boring dream sequence. Meanwhile,
back on the farm, the Black Widow and the Hulk are in love. Cap and Tony Stark are having a wood chopping
competition. Hawkeye’s wife interrupts to ask Tony to fix their tractor. Nick
Fury is hiding in the barn near the tractor. They go in the house to have
breakfast as Fury promises to do something dramatic. Suddenly, the Avengers
know how to find Ultron.
The Avengers chase Ultron from New York to Slovikia (a
made up country) along the way Ultron creates the Vision out of Vibranium and
captures the Black Widow. The Vision can toss around Thor’s hammer. The Scarlet
Witch and Quicksilver switch sides because Ultron is bad. Ultron reveals his
evil plan to lift and drop the country of Slovikia and thus destroy the planet.
Nick Fury makes a dramatic appearance. The Avengers stop Ultron and someone
dies (because Joss Whedon) and most of the Avengers decide to retire from the
superhero biz.
They did not even manage a cool post-credits sequence.
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